Note: The following story deals with topics such as suicide, self-harm and trauma. Support resources for people who are in crisis or have suicidal thoughts can be found at the end of this story.
In 2018, Donna Thomas lost her son to suicide, a year after graduating from Roy C. Ketcham High School. He had never been diagnosed with any mental illness.
“A couple of weeks before she died, we started seeing signs, but we as parents thought they were growing pains,” she said.
He was starting a life of his own, had just bought a new car and was making long-term plans with his girlfriend. He wasn’t sleeping well, so Thomas thought about making him a sound machine and heavy blankets, “never thinking about a mental health disorder,” he said.
At James’ wake, Thomas said many people, including her friends, came to her and told her that James was someone they could go to and talk to about their struggles. He would go out of his way to do acts of kindness to help in any way he could.
“I started to see the world differently,” Thomas said.
With the help of her family friend, Dr. Jamiee Arnoff, a licensed clinical psychologist with a private therapy practice in Beacon, and her current vice president, Dawn Cavaccini, Thomas set out to create an organization to explain the James’ story and let other kids know. It’s okay to talk about mental illness and show that there is support for them.
“Talking and sharing, that’s how we change the stigma, right?” Thomas said.
James’s Warr;ors was founded on March 17, 2020, with roots in the Hudson Valley, and has been helping young people ever since. The semicolon is often used as a symbol of hope for people with mental illness. “It helps to remember that your story is not over and that you can share your story without shame,” their website states.
James’s Warr;ors strives to combat stigma through conversation
Through their interventions, James’s Warr;ors connect with communities at high schools, universities, community engagements or anywhere else they are invited. Thomas begins the presentations by sharing his story, being honest with the children about what happened to his son, as well as the signs and symptoms he missed. Dr. Jamiee Arnoff then brings clinical aspects, providing children with resources such as coping kits and strategies to help themselves, friends, or even parents with mental illness.
“We want to give them a message of hope, that even with a diagnosis of mental illness, you can still live a very beautiful life,” she said.
Thomas explained that their mission, basically, is to educate, raise awareness about mental health disorders and lower suicide rates in communities. They aim to help start conversations about these issues, reducing the stigma surrounding mental health.
Especially as May is Mental Health Awareness Month, they want to encourage people of all ages to feel confident enough to share what’s going on or ask someone how they really are, listening to what they have to to say.
He also pointed out how we relate to others is important to consider. “Be careful how you talk to people because you don’t know what’s going on in their brains.”
If you are interested in setting up a speaking engagement for your school or organization, check out their website, jamesswarriors.org/speaking-engagements, to inquire.
The approaching events of James’s war
James’s Warr;ors is a small non-profit organization. The events they organize are their main source of raising money to keep their mission thriving.
Since Thomas now lives in Saratoga, many of the events they hold are in that area, including their third annual Mother’s Retreat, Friday, May 31st through Sunday, June 2nd, for mothers who have lost their children by suicide. Through the donations they receive, they are able to offer a retreat this weekend for mothers in a similar situation and help them connect, while also offering a spiritual healer, yoga and a tea ceremony.
“Once they come to the retreat, we do a Google Meet once a month, sometimes more, just to support each other,” Thomas said.
However, they still return to Wappingers Falls, where Thomas’ children grew up, and this year will hold an event called No One Rocks Alone, an interpretation of their motto, “No One Walks Alone.”
The music festival, sponsored by the Town of Wappinger, will include six bands, food trucks and raffles at Schlathaus Park from noon to 9:30 p.m. on Saturday, July 27.
“I think when you have a grassroots project like ours, our mission, people really connect with it because it’s in their backyard,” Thomas said.
Mental health resources
For more information about James’s Warr;ors, who’s on the team, what it’s about, resources to talk to someone about your mental health, their events, or their contact information, visit jamesswarriors.org.
Crisis text line: New York State has partnered with Crisis Text Line, a 24-hour anonymous texting service. Text GOT5 to 741741.
988 Suicide and Lifeline Crisis: If you are in crisis and need immediate help, call: 988
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